He was about to jump...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about the jump off. So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

"Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well... are you religious?"

He said yes.

I said, "Me too! See? We've got lots in common already, so let's talk this thing through. Are you a Christian or a Buddhist?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of God!"

"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"

He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"

I said, "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.

Thomas Cathcart & Daniel Klein, "Heidegger and a Hippo Walk Through Those Pearly Gates: Using Philosophy (and Jokes) to Explore Life, Death, The Afterlife, And Everything In Between," p. 21.